SPECIFICATIONS? - MORE LIKE, "DO THESE LAST:"

... So my Wife and I were cleaning out some old file cabinets this past weekend - Yup, special kind of torture - Anyway, I came across some internal commentary with a Project Manager I used to work under when I was an Intern; it had to do with Project Specifications...Well, actually it had to do with how bad OUR Project Specifications were.

I am not sure why for the last ten years I held onto this particular e-mail, in a file folder, in a file cabinet, that has been through at least four separate moves across three different states - Actually, I am not really sure why I held on to a lot of the paperwork in said file cabinets - Hence the purge - And one...Oh, let's just say, "less than enthusiastic Wife" Saturday afternoon.

... Anyway it got me thinking about Project Specifications and how generally Architects really do not like "Doing Specs" - AND - How this is sort of typical at most Design firms - AND - How this typically translates to them being done last...Which generally leads to them being done quickly...Which generally leads to them being pretty lousy...Which generally leads to conflicts and in turn Change Orders and then arguments and ultimately angry Clients.

So yeah...There I was, spread out on our kitchen floor, surrounded with a mountain of paperwork from four empty file cabinets - Thinking about Crappy Specifications, Change Orders and angry Clients (...and again, I had a less than enthusiastic Wife by my side) - Yup, that was my Saturday...

... I've transposed the specifications excerpts with my original commentary from the e-mail below for your enjoyment - Cheers:

...

"C. Stucco System.

1. Scope:

a. FURNISH labor, materials, equipment and services necessary to FURNISH and install stucco, including lath, as indicated or specified, fasten metal trim by wire-tieing or nailed depending on the type of substrate." - *

... If you ask the Contractor to furnish something twice, does that protect the Architect from liability?

"b. Where expansion joints are placed parallel to framing members, install joints so that NONE IS MORE than 4" away from a framing member."

... I think the question is 'How much more than 4" away could it be?' - And the answer is 'None more...None more than 4" away...None more blacker...'  - @

"c. Apply Finish Coat NOT SOONER than 7 days after the application of the Brown Coat. Before applying, dampen the surface of the Brown Coat evenly to obtain uniform suction." - #

... If it's 'Not sooner' than 7 days, would the suction be 'More better' or 'Not better...' - ?

...

So, that was fun...Right? - #Deuces.

B.

Foot Notes:

* - Looking back on this after ten years I have to mention, this is one helluva' run-on sentence.

@ - This is a nod to the movie 'Spinal Tap,' which if memory serves I was watching quite often at the time in my crappy one bedroom Apartment - Obviously this predates my wife as watching this particular movie would probably make her even 'Less Enthusiastic' than she already was.

# - Just a note here, again after not having looked at this in 10 years, 'Suction?' - Really? - What about, 'Application' or 'Adhesion' --- No? --- 'Suction?' - Okay, got it, thanks...Just checking.

Syndication out...XO.